Rabbits

To the Rabbit Community:

I understand that I may have offended some of you who happened upon this blog. I know that you are not only real, but not even near-mythical status (despite several harrowing tales I have told young children in a failed effort to disprove your existence). I would like to offer an olive branch between your party and mine. I would never want to discredit the lovely rabbit community that is so desperate to multiply and reinforce the once-popular simile "...as cute as a bunny-rabbit..." (which does not even really make sense because, I mean, what is a bunny-rabbit?). As we all know, it was primarily young children who would make such idiotic mistakes in using the term "bunny-rabbit", however, I would like to place the blame upon parents who utilize this appellation when speaking to the aforementioned children about rabbits, particularly young rabbits. I will allow this terrible and uneducated (in my humble opinion) fusing of two differing nouns referring to a single being to continue as a part of our ceasefire and (hopefully) truce.

Anyway, please, take your "bunny-rabbit" vocabulary and my olive branch as a sign of peace between us. I would love to personally speak to your representative if you are sophisticated enough of a community to have one. I implore you to not take offense at this statement either. I am not suggesting that you are not sophisticated, merely making a reference to human science that has shown time and again that humans have more intellectual prowess, particularly for society and government, than do rabbits.

I duly take pleasure in seeing our long-time feud end, once and for all. May both of our communities sanguinely embrace one another as we now acknowledge each others' existence.

If you so choose to continue to rebel, I will destroy every last one of you...until you become endangered at which point, I'm sure several animal-rights' groups will intervene and prevent any further destruction...With your rate of reproduction though, I would expect you to jump (tee hee!) right off of that list in no time...at which point the destruction will resume!...etc.

Good luck to you in your decision-making process.

Sincerely,
SweatyBootsStink